The Vine & The Branches

I couldn't sleep 15 minutes ago, anxiety has been killing me this past month.

I'm too tired to be detailed but i'll just summarize it simply by saying I know that i'm not the most wanted person around. Well and being a chatty person this isn't somethng I like to know. So I was just lying in my bed around 9AM, I just asked God 'What's happening to me? I need to sleep, please remove this fear.' Instantly I got this.


John 15:8.


I was like whut? A verse? Okay cool.


So here it is, John 15:8; "This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."


I didn't quite get how being disliked had anything to do with God's glory, so I scanned the page and another 2 verses caught my eye, John 15:18 & 19 ; " If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world HATES you. "

Shocked? Haha no not really actually. I've always know i've had a cocky attitude. Cocky, indesicive and very headstrong attitude but not for bad reasons. After reading this I went online to do a bit more of searching up hence why i'm making this post. Turns out that John 15 is a chapter that is as straightforward and subtle as a punch in the face. This chapter 15 specifically adresses disciples as I guess. I'm no genius but it's pretty simple to understand the metaphors used.

In verse 6 it says that " If anyone who does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ".

Those few verses have given me my peace to sleep. Just to confirm I wasn't just plain reassuring myself and jumping to conclusions I read commentaries and surprise surprise, it means exactly what I think it does. So perhaps I shouldn't beat up upon myself so hard all the time. I know i'll never be a persons first role model, but now I finally understand more about that and not just from a physical standpoint.

I am not going to be on the losing end where I try to become a prodigal son, relaxing in the spoils of my father in my youth and then repenting when I lose everything. Or maybe I already have? I'm not sure. Anyways however my life turns out I should be prepared to be hated a lot more along the way. Mr.Philip told me in college during the previous sem that ' he feels that i'll go through of hardship to get what I want '. Funny things is I always thought he was talking about my grades, but I never chatted with him because of my grades. Looks like I finally get what he meant. Man i'm pretty slow in these kinda things :|.


I'm not planning to be thrown into a fire because of being a branch that is useless, whatever it takes to be that branch that has fruit I wan't to be there. I wan't to earn that faith when I have nothing physical left in my life, I still will smile and just wait on the Lord. I wan't to have the courage from God to overcome the things people in life always put me down with.

Having faith as small as a mustard seed is enough to be that jumpstart to get to know God. I know my faith may be small but if things like these keep up I know i'll be going places, and who knows, a 180 degree change in my perhaps? We shall see. As of now I NEED MY SLEEP I'M TIRED KTHXBAI.