Like seriously if the previous yamcha was refreshing, todays one was beyond refreshing. This is the sort of yamcha I enjoy. Anyways okay its quite queer that these days i've been called out by my later friends. Think 25+ of age haha, anyways this guy used to come to church in the same branch as me but is now in Subang so I haven't seen him in ages.
So okay I headed out with him today for supper, he hadn't eaten so we went to Williams about 11pm. See before I continue on this post i'll give you an idea of how his personality is in one word. Confident. Like really out of all the humans i've met he's one of those few where he doesn't really spare his words in where he thinks he is right.
It's not exactly rocket science to see why I enjoy chats with him every now and then, he's that sort of human that can just have a clean long debate with tons of topics to bring up. Mentally stimulating. So somehow again (its like a pattern has started, freaky haha) the topic of tonight was well, advice! Since he's older
The content of our conversation varied from girl problems to work, to the society and the mentality of people & girls. What he said is that for one, being young and dating will never work out. Well he said you can go try, but you'll probably end up failing just like 99% of people that optimistically jump into one at a young age. So in return I asked him, how do you know?
Haha then here's where the fun part started. He being the usual confident guy says that girls from 19-22, only then they start growing up. How sure he is i'm not sure but hey, I listen okay! So he was saying that not just physically they change, but why mentally they change is usually due to exposure to work. He has done various jobs with various sexes, so okay la why debate on the accuracy. I myself have never held a proper job. He says that people when they work, then only they know how it is like to provide food on the table, the struggle of it and the responsibilities that will be burdened on you. Not in the sense where you work part-time as a waiter or scooping ice-cream, but think of working in a office where if you mess up good, your company's progress is slowed down due to you. That sort of depth.
So only then after going through that kind of work after awhile people (both guys and girls) start only then looking for a criteria, that quality in a person of hardworkingness and resoponsibility. I sort of understoon where he was going at. Like being in college I don't have to work for my fees, work for the maintainance of my car, work for my clothes, work for my food, it is all provided by my dads savings. So I too have NOT felt the pinch of keeping something I earnt.
However he also assured me that I shouldn't overthink the future. People grow up, even he says that when I get to around... 23 onwards people that have a lot of 'fun' will 'die' off and start paying for their lack of better decisions. Well okay la not in that sort of tone, but he said that people who are 'nice' and 'fun' all the time doesn't necessarily mean they're useful. Usually the people that work the lowest in the company have that attitude...... I suppose it's due to their so lackluster and easy going attitude that they can't push anything to be done. That was also told by another older friend, who is 28 who works in the entertainment business. He says that generally these sort of people are only good at running away or pointing fingers at others when they get criticized for being lazy. Hearing things like these from people who have actually stable jobs and money enough to spend on themselves to enjoy, it REALLY cheers me up. I ended up leaving Williams at 3.40am due to chatting non-stop, the only reason why we stopped was because the place was closing up.
Granted though that doesn't mean I can be a prick and tell everyone to grow up. BOTH of them told me, why are you giving people free help when they don't want it? So I suppose the softness in my characther is there. I don't want my friends failing or making any bad choices, but I don't own them. I don't own anyone. Tough, but I really cannot bear to see things like this happen.
Anyways i'll leave this emo post behind! I'm very happy that now i've got people to chat with about jobs, I can get sound advice as well. So far i've collected a few... first and foremost? The most cliche'd advice ever in the history of mankind: STUDY. But don't just cheat through exams! UNDERSTAND what you learn, when you do so you can apply it into the field that you do. Why this is always repeated because what they said it's simple. You can learn by a man teaching you in an airconditioned room with you lazing around, all you have to do is listen and take notes. You can learn that way, or F**K up in reality and learn the hard way. You waste time and resources. So... okay noted. I'm enjoying college anyways.
Secondly would be don't hang onto people. What does that mean? Okay there are so many people in the world, they form groups called cliques. Everyone has their place, but when someone gets so comfortable in one, even though they may not be positive, if you wan't to leave that social group it's not easy. Why? Humans are creature of habit. Once you are comfortable in a position that doesn't SEEM like it's going to bother you at all you don't bother changing. I learned this in psychology class though, sadly I can't remember what it is. The experiment is where you put a frog in warm water and slowly heat the water up. The frog being comfortable gets drowsy and eventually falls asleep and then gets cooked. Thankfully, human beings all get the chance to get out of that warm water. I know I don't want to stay in there. I have to learn if people don't want me around, they don't want me around simple as that. If i'm not valued, don't try to be. Harsh stuff but hey, thats life.
Third is that to be sucessful you usually have to be a prick even though you don't like it. I naively asked why. Lol the answer I got was not far off from a lecture, but I enjoyed it thankfully haha. Well the theory behind it is simple, if you are entertaining a crowd of 100% , and the 10% that constantly criticize you, you listen to them consistently how much confidence are you going to have? You have to learn how to blow people off. Simple.
Assurance, it feels so good :').
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