There is a saying, somewhere, that goes as such : "Don't stir up the hornets nest."
Today is one of those days where my 'hornets nest is shaken'.
SO ODDLY ENOUGH, just yesterday I made a post where I mentioned about i'm getting over stuff, been left out, etc etc. Today, I get a message telling me that SUDDENLY my blog is fucking famous and people are worried, or something.
Well fucking hell. After so long of silence people are worried. Worried for what? Whether they did the right thing? My happiness? I cannot express in words how annoyed I am. I should just move myself off overseas and go missing and see how many more people worry about me. WHY worry of a choice you made, when you very fucking well know how it ends. Seriously even idk why i'm pissed off. Maybe its because i'm so sick of dealing with this emotional childish problems that lie within me. Being around an older company of people who are actually so much more emotionally and financially settled makes me happy. I'm sick of people excluding me because i'm a mere fucking option. I've ALWAYS been a fucking option to people. I'm fucking sick of being that guy who has a very different mentality comparing to the masses. And the last whine i'm going to whine about is that i'm SO FUCKING SICK OF TRYING TO BE CONSIDERATE. Fucking getting stepped on and forgotten, only when a physical asset is needed to be borrowed or when someone wants to know how to make their car marginally faster they consider calling me out.
When I fucking want to stop thinking about stuff, that stuff just doesn't leave me alone doesn't it? Annoyance max. Ruined a perfect family dinner, ruined my mood, ruined my appetite, I hate my holidays. Fucking wish I had college work to do to take my mind off things and actually learn. I wish I had more unavoidable responsibilities. Full time job where I can earn my own salary to fund my own house and cars, to raise my own children with my own wife. Something I can call my own. Everything I have now is just on loan.
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