Thursday, December 8, 2011
Kaleidoscope Ais
If you know this song well enough, by Panic! At The Disco, I think the lyrics are really meaningful. Have a listen gais? :B For the girl whos heart I never won over :). I think, who knows, even you! My awesome reader may relate to this :p.
And All That Glitters Isn't Gold
Ah metaphors. Gold is shiny. Valuable. Precious. Im comparing this post with gold because... SPM is over. Big whoop :(. Ironically everyone should be overjoyed, y'know freedom, no more BM, no more Sejarah, Add math, the list goes on why we should be rejoicing and all, though oddly I dont have that sense of happiness. A few reasons why too!
First off would be the responsibility i've gained. Magically, 8 days after SPM my mums already nagging me to find a college. WELL of course I will, but it's coming up much faster than I expected, I dont feel relaxed after SPM worrying about that. Then too on the matter of money, I cant be going out everyday cause that uses gas which is money, which comes from my dad. Basically i'm just an 18 year old leech now HAHA. Omnomnomnom munny :3. It's so fast time flies... my last post was 2 weeks ago. Looking back it flew by like nothing. Studying, sitting for the real thing, and running out of art once im done... officially now i've shed that kid part of my life, high school with a g-shock having pocket money to blow, eating canteen food, going for awesome tuitions, i'll never get to repeat that ever in my life.
Then... a few more things im gonna miss about high school would be the people. True, I was with juniors but I think junors can teach me a lesson as good as a senior, maybe even more. I spend m time 90% worrying, they managed to balance that out to about 60%? I've learnt from them I shouldnt care so much about peoples perception of me, cut my hair a weirdly. It'll grow back, at least you know what you're not missng the next time someone gets the same haircut as you cause you've been there done that right? I dont want to live my life in fear all the time, and certainly im out of that phase.
I've gotten so much memories back in highschool for the 2nd time around. Sitting for exams with new friends. Not a lot of people get that chance in life, im GLAD I resat through my highschool! Though, my heart is still somewhere in there. I had this crush called uhm... E :D. Kays. Really the whole world knows about it, but for the sake of privacy no names mentioned. If you're actually reading my blog, hi :). (May I hug you at prom? Haha :p) Its odd. I never really believed that I could fall in 'love' with someone in high school, especially when i'm 17. For those 2 years that i've been in high school, and out, I really really miss crushing on her. I think its still my biggest crush to date... I've always wanted a girlfriend who I can cook with, watch endless disney movies, read the bible, learn about God more, maybe even have dinner with her parents :/. Someone who can bring me down to earth and well, yeah. On paper she was perfect to me. I dont think I really can disagree up till now with her choices, descions, likings, its really 100% for me. BUUUUUUT, see, were really different people.
Her dad's a doctor, last I remember. Shes very much more educated then I am. Science stream, rich buddies, all of them are sheltered and have very very lovely prestigious lifestyles which really im jealous of. Always wanted to have a life where I wake up, wear a polo tee, chino shorts & blue-grey vans, use my own car and do whatever they do. Well its all very idealistic, but I really wish I had more CLASS. Anyways, I guess why we never worked out is because im at opposite ends of the spectrum as her. I have a shaved head (now) with hair on top, looking like a chubby jay park. I'll never be slim, boyish, adorable cause im 5'11. Love loud old cars, she prolly loves being fetched in a BM or Merc. I hang around in mamaks, skate parks, she goes to BK class which i've always wanted to go with, but I never do cause I always feel so left out.
So on paper she was everything I ever wanted, but its like buying a car again. If you dont have the means nessecary, and it just doesnt FEEL good it wont work. Everytime I talk to her, I get intimidated. You know the symptoms, stammering, blushing, being uber quiet and spazzing. That was at the start of the year, and its stil the same now... odd huh, what someone can do to you permanantely? I've gotten over her but 2 songs really remind me of her. Like a G6 by far east movement & dev , and legs by Jer Coons? Yeah. IT WAS EFFING WEIRD when both those 2 songs came on shuffle the other night while I was driving home from supper, instantly I started spazzing as if she was watching me, creeeeeepy. Went home, hit the sack and I dreamt about her. After prom i'll prolly never see her again :).
First off would be the responsibility i've gained. Magically, 8 days after SPM my mums already nagging me to find a college. WELL of course I will, but it's coming up much faster than I expected, I dont feel relaxed after SPM worrying about that. Then too on the matter of money, I cant be going out everyday cause that uses gas which is money, which comes from my dad. Basically i'm just an 18 year old leech now HAHA. Omnomnomnom munny :3. It's so fast time flies... my last post was 2 weeks ago. Looking back it flew by like nothing. Studying, sitting for the real thing, and running out of art once im done... officially now i've shed that kid part of my life, high school with a g-shock having pocket money to blow, eating canteen food, going for awesome tuitions, i'll never get to repeat that ever in my life.
Then... a few more things im gonna miss about high school would be the people. True, I was with juniors but I think junors can teach me a lesson as good as a senior, maybe even more. I spend m time 90% worrying, they managed to balance that out to about 60%? I've learnt from them I shouldnt care so much about peoples perception of me, cut my hair a weirdly. It'll grow back, at least you know what you're not missng the next time someone gets the same haircut as you cause you've been there done that right? I dont want to live my life in fear all the time, and certainly im out of that phase.
I've gotten so much memories back in highschool for the 2nd time around. Sitting for exams with new friends. Not a lot of people get that chance in life, im GLAD I resat through my highschool! Though, my heart is still somewhere in there. I had this crush called uhm... E :D. Kays. Really the whole world knows about it, but for the sake of privacy no names mentioned. If you're actually reading my blog, hi :). (May I hug you at prom? Haha :p) Its odd. I never really believed that I could fall in 'love' with someone in high school, especially when i'm 17. For those 2 years that i've been in high school, and out, I really really miss crushing on her. I think its still my biggest crush to date... I've always wanted a girlfriend who I can cook with, watch endless disney movies, read the bible, learn about God more, maybe even have dinner with her parents :/. Someone who can bring me down to earth and well, yeah. On paper she was perfect to me. I dont think I really can disagree up till now with her choices, descions, likings, its really 100% for me. BUUUUUUT, see, were really different people.
Her dad's a doctor, last I remember. Shes very much more educated then I am. Science stream, rich buddies, all of them are sheltered and have very very lovely prestigious lifestyles which really im jealous of. Always wanted to have a life where I wake up, wear a polo tee, chino shorts & blue-grey vans, use my own car and do whatever they do. Well its all very idealistic, but I really wish I had more CLASS. Anyways, I guess why we never worked out is because im at opposite ends of the spectrum as her. I have a shaved head (now) with hair on top, looking like a chubby jay park. I'll never be slim, boyish, adorable cause im 5'11. Love loud old cars, she prolly loves being fetched in a BM or Merc. I hang around in mamaks, skate parks, she goes to BK class which i've always wanted to go with, but I never do cause I always feel so left out.
So on paper she was everything I ever wanted, but its like buying a car again. If you dont have the means nessecary, and it just doesnt FEEL good it wont work. Everytime I talk to her, I get intimidated. You know the symptoms, stammering, blushing, being uber quiet and spazzing. That was at the start of the year, and its stil the same now... odd huh, what someone can do to you permanantely? I've gotten over her but 2 songs really remind me of her. Like a G6 by far east movement & dev , and legs by Jer Coons? Yeah. IT WAS EFFING WEIRD when both those 2 songs came on shuffle the other night while I was driving home from supper, instantly I started spazzing as if she was watching me, creeeeeepy. Went home, hit the sack and I dreamt about her. After prom i'll prolly never see her again :).
Weird huh. I cant believe I actually still think about all these from time to time... at least im following her on tumblr whoohoo! :D One of my favorites to reblog from considering what I like, she likes. And its all there for meeeeee (and everyone else that follows her).
Then ah. My car. Broken fiberglass bucket seat, a jammed rear right door, chipped paint & wheels, loud exhaust and an engine bay so filthy it looks like a 16 year old car. Which it is by the way. I LOVE EVERYTHING BOUT IT, 'cept the fact its not flashy as a sports car, or new... nyways I plan to make it faster, though now its pretty much pushing the limits of the clutch and brakes. REALLY need to consider getting R32 Skyline brakes for it soon.
Kays then theres December's events. Camp. Education fair. Proms to perform at. Prom to attend, for my last time ever. The penang road trip that were going for. Christmas BBQ. New Years Eve. Work. I've got a shizzload on my brain and thats just the major stuffs :B.
Minor would be, getting my IC fixed, the chip stopped working so I need to get that done ASAP. Vacumn my car, go jogging, polish my car, learn cooking (ALONE), be more nice to people, learn to be optimistic, pay back my dad. Church. I really miss church. God. I need more of his guidance.
I'm officially a grown-up with small problems leaking into my life, and I have to make desicions which would make me or break me. Money. God. A lovely girlfriend. Education. Haha I might as well think of my wife to be huh? :p Anyways not to burst anyones bubble but really, post SPM life if you're responsible and not a life-time waster, its not fun cause theres no excuse for you to be a kid anymore.
AAAAAAAND if you lose your heart in high school, you'll get it back. Just not completely cause part of it is just left there which is no joke :|. I dreamt I danced with E in prom with Panic! At the disco's bittersweet playing, which really when I woke up I teared a little. My favorite song with someone i'll never see again. Boo :(. Reality sucks. Can I be Peter Pan & stay in neverland?
I'll be off for now, gotta hit the sack. Its the 9th of December, at 6.20am. I smell like a hint of tobacco & a baby. The whiff of cigs are from friends, and my bath shower cream which is full of 100% swag (Johnsons Baby Milk BUFF :B) is thankfully making it sweet to smell.
My only wish would be that E reads this before 2011 is over. At least if i'll never get to express myself, my blog will :3. I'm going to miss 2011, really really am.
Then ah. My car. Broken fiberglass bucket seat, a jammed rear right door, chipped paint & wheels, loud exhaust and an engine bay so filthy it looks like a 16 year old car. Which it is by the way. I LOVE EVERYTHING BOUT IT, 'cept the fact its not flashy as a sports car, or new... nyways I plan to make it faster, though now its pretty much pushing the limits of the clutch and brakes. REALLY need to consider getting R32 Skyline brakes for it soon.
Kays then theres December's events. Camp. Education fair. Proms to perform at. Prom to attend, for my last time ever. The penang road trip that were going for. Christmas BBQ. New Years Eve. Work. I've got a shizzload on my brain and thats just the major stuffs :B.
Minor would be, getting my IC fixed, the chip stopped working so I need to get that done ASAP. Vacumn my car, go jogging, polish my car, learn cooking (ALONE), be more nice to people, learn to be optimistic, pay back my dad. Church. I really miss church. God. I need more of his guidance.
I'm officially a grown-up with small problems leaking into my life, and I have to make desicions which would make me or break me. Money. God. A lovely girlfriend. Education. Haha I might as well think of my wife to be huh? :p Anyways not to burst anyones bubble but really, post SPM life if you're responsible and not a life-time waster, its not fun cause theres no excuse for you to be a kid anymore.
AAAAAAAND if you lose your heart in high school, you'll get it back. Just not completely cause part of it is just left there which is no joke :|. I dreamt I danced with E in prom with Panic! At the disco's bittersweet playing, which really when I woke up I teared a little. My favorite song with someone i'll never see again. Boo :(. Reality sucks. Can I be Peter Pan & stay in neverland?
I'll be off for now, gotta hit the sack. Its the 9th of December, at 6.20am. I smell like a hint of tobacco & a baby. The whiff of cigs are from friends, and my bath shower cream which is full of 100% swag (Johnsons Baby Milk BUFF :B) is thankfully making it sweet to smell.
My only wish would be that E reads this before 2011 is over. At least if i'll never get to express myself, my blog will :3. I'm going to miss 2011, really really am.
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