Kaleidoscope Ais

If you know this song well enough, by Panic! At The Disco, I think the lyrics are really meaningful. Have a listen gais? :B For the girl whos heart I never won over :). I think, who knows, even you! My awesome reader may relate to this :p.

And All That Glitters Isn't Gold

Ah metaphors. Gold is shiny. Valuable. Precious. Im comparing this post with gold because... SPM is over. Big whoop :(. Ironically everyone should be overjoyed, y'know freedom, no more BM, no more Sejarah, Add math, the list goes on why we should be rejoicing and all, though oddly I dont have that sense of happiness. A few reasons why too!

First off would be the responsibility i've gained. Magically, 8 days after SPM my mums already nagging me to find a college. WELL of course I will, but it's coming up much faster than I expected, I dont feel relaxed after SPM worrying about that. Then too on the matter of money, I cant be going out everyday cause that uses gas which is money, which comes from my dad. Basically i'm just an 18 year old leech now HAHA. Omnomnomnom munny :3. It's so fast time flies... my last post was 2 weeks ago. Looking back it flew by like nothing. Studying, sitting for the real thing, and running out of art once im done... officially now i've shed that kid part of my life, high school with a g-shock having pocket money to blow, eating canteen food, going for awesome tuitions, i'll never get to repeat that ever in my life.

Then... a few more things im gonna miss about high school would be the people. True, I was with juniors but I think junors can teach me a lesson as good as a senior, maybe even more. I spend m time 90% worrying, they managed to balance that out to about 60%? I've learnt from them I shouldnt care so much about peoples perception of me, cut my hair a weirdly. It'll grow back, at least you know what you're not missng the next time someone gets the same haircut as you cause you've been there done that right? I dont want to live my life in fear all the time, and certainly im out of that phase.

I've gotten so much memories back in highschool for the 2nd time around. Sitting for exams with new friends. Not a lot of people get that chance in life, im GLAD I resat through my highschool! Though, my heart is still somewhere in there. I had this crush called uhm... E :D. Kays. Really the whole world knows about it, but for the sake of privacy no names mentioned. If you're actually reading my blog, hi :). (May I hug you at prom? Haha :p) Its odd. I never really believed that I could fall in 'love' with someone in high school, especially when i'm 17. For those 2 years that i've been in high school, and out, I really really miss crushing on her. I think its still my biggest crush to date... I've always wanted a girlfriend who I can cook with, watch endless disney movies, read the bible, learn about God more, maybe even have dinner with her parents :/. Someone who can bring me down to earth and well, yeah. On paper she was perfect to me. I dont think I really can disagree up till now with her choices, descions, likings, its really 100% for me. BUUUUUUT, see, were really different people.

Her dad's a doctor, last I remember. Shes very much more educated then I am. Science stream, rich buddies,  all of them are sheltered and have very very lovely prestigious lifestyles which really im jealous of. Always wanted to have a life where I wake up, wear a polo tee, chino shorts & blue-grey vans, use my own car and do whatever they do. Well its all very idealistic, but I really wish I had more CLASS. Anyways, I guess why we never worked out is because im at opposite ends of the spectrum as her. I have a shaved head (now) with hair on top, looking like a chubby jay park. I'll never be slim, boyish, adorable cause im 5'11. Love loud old cars, she prolly loves being fetched in a BM or Merc. I hang around in mamaks, skate parks, she goes to BK class which i've always wanted to go with, but I never do cause I always feel so left out.


So on paper she was everything I ever wanted, but its like buying a car again. If you dont have the means nessecary, and it just doesnt FEEL good it wont work. Everytime I talk to her, I get intimidated. You know the symptoms, stammering, blushing, being uber quiet and spazzing. That was at the start of the year, and its stil the same now... odd huh, what someone can do to you permanantely? I've gotten over her but 2 songs really remind me of her. Like a G6 by far east movement & dev , and legs by Jer Coons? Yeah. IT WAS EFFING WEIRD when both those 2 songs came on shuffle the other night while I was driving home from supper, instantly I started spazzing as if she was watching me, creeeeeepy. Went home, hit the sack and I dreamt about her. After prom i'll prolly never see her again :).

Weird huh. I cant believe I actually still think about all these from time to time... at least im following her on tumblr whoohoo! :D One of my favorites to reblog from considering what I like, she likes. And its all there for meeeeee (and everyone else that follows her).

Then ah. My car. Broken fiberglass bucket seat, a jammed rear right door, chipped paint & wheels, loud exhaust and an engine bay so filthy it looks like a 16 year old car. Which it is by the way. I LOVE EVERYTHING BOUT IT, 'cept the fact its not flashy as a sports car, or new... nyways I plan to make it faster, though now its pretty much pushing the limits of the clutch and brakes. REALLY need to consider getting R32 Skyline brakes for it soon.

Kays then theres December's events. Camp. Education fair. Proms to perform at. Prom to attend, for my last time ever. The penang road trip that were going for. Christmas BBQ. New Years Eve. Work. I've got a shizzload on my brain and thats just the major stuffs :B.

Minor would be, getting my IC fixed, the chip stopped working so I need to get that done ASAP. Vacumn my car, go jogging, polish my car, learn cooking (ALONE), be more nice to people, learn to be optimistic, pay back my dad. Church. I really miss church. God. I need more of his guidance.


I'm officially a grown-up with small problems leaking into my life, and I have to make desicions which would make me or break me. Money. God. A lovely girlfriend. Education. Haha I might as well think of my wife to be huh? :p Anyways not to burst anyones bubble but really, post SPM life if you're responsible and not a life-time waster, its not fun cause theres no excuse for you to be a kid anymore.


AAAAAAAND if you lose your heart in high school, you'll get it back. Just not completely cause part of it is just left there which is no joke :|. I dreamt I danced with E in prom with Panic! At the disco's bittersweet playing, which really when I woke up I teared a little. My favorite song with someone i'll never see again. Boo :(. Reality sucks. Can I be Peter Pan & stay in neverland?

I'll be off for now, gotta hit the sack. Its the 9th of December, at 6.20am. I smell like a hint of tobacco & a baby. The whiff of cigs are from friends, and my bath shower cream which is full of 100% swag (Johnsons Baby Milk BUFF :B) is thankfully making it sweet to smell.


My only wish would be that E reads this before 2011 is over. At least if i'll never get to express myself, my blog will :3. I'm going to miss 2011, really really am.

It's Almost December!

Ah yes. SPM's almost over, my room is in a mess, and i've gotten more junk to fill it up with. Specifically this BRIDE Zeta II seat which is just taking up space upstairs, and a Nissan GTR Transmission Oil Can which is my new trash can hahaha.


Not much new updates for this month. SPM has been taking up 90% of my time. Spending most of my time worrying on how hard the exam is going to be, at least I can worry because i'm done with 50% of the exams. Science is in 2 days, and Arts & Perdagangan in 10.


Though emotionally i've been pretty down. I just realized how i'm so afraid to ask for anything from my parents compared to last time. Even shoes I have doubts in asking them for another pair cause I already have 2, which would be red and black sneakers which I wear everywhere all the time. Then I also have slip on Vans which really, I cant remember how old they are. I need to wash them though :O.


Even when I asked whether I could get this limited edition G-Shock I got scolding... gah. I know I have a lot of watches, but none of them were really chosen by me, except my green G-shock which I really really like :(. I feel like I have no more opinions living at home, whatever is given i'll just take it and have to make do.


Though my shoes are awesome! Just wish I had shoes that look more mature than sneakers.


So okay nevermind that. Mmm let see. Updates on the wagon? None. I have a vanilla scented air freshner if that counts, and my right door is permanantely jammed shut. I really dont understand how a door jams...


Need to start working after SPM. Even seat rails and upholstery i'm afraid to ask my parents for more budget, and best of all my seats err, frame, literally broke. Again another mystery there, so i've got to get it patched and painted. Any suggestions to what I should paint it to? Im thinking of solid gloss grey again.


I'm getting super lazy to mod the Nissan, Truth be told. Having a rare car with majority of shops that dont fix it, I get quite tired scouting for places and working to get it all repaired. Even now brakes, to upgrade them, I have a big headache on what would fit, and where I would even get the money to fix them in.

There are some days I just feel like selling the wagon to get something more modable like a satria and just be done with it. Having my broken audio system in the car is also killing me. I tell you if my suspension blows, like literally starts leaking i'll prolly dump the car at home. At least I can still outcorner 99% of family cars on the road, that keeps me happy.


Anyawys lesson learned, money is super important and thats why I will work hard to get money next time. I hate having no money. Hmm christmas is around the corner, and so are proms, camps, the penang roadtrip, and God knows what else is upcoming, im gonna be super busy this month.


Whats more I've got to get the camera up and running again, tidy my room, fix the fixie (pun not intended), rewire the subwoofer, and powdercoat my amplifier & camshaft cover. Hoooo see how much money I need just to have everything working?

This would be the drawback of having things 2nd hand and not doing things right the first time, like spray paint on my valve cover. Biiiiiig mistake. I hope once SPM is over I can be happy again, I've been feeling down these past few weeks, all I ever do is spend money on things I dont really need to make myself happier for a short while and thats it. Things that really make me happy are missing from my life, but, I dont know what they are.

I'll be trying to figure that out later, for now its back to 'studying', buhbai :D.

4G1Series Dinner & Touge

Ah. Its 5.03AM, I should be sleeping but im pumped/scared. Whai?

Went for my first touge in Genting Sempah today, to those who dont know, google it up. All I got were accident pictures & dead bodies, guess i'm blessed by the grace of God to make it back in one piece.

ANYWAYS. Dinner with the 4G1Series guys was good! I didnt eat much, and of course being a newbie there I barely spoke to anyone at the table but...

Coming down from genting, oh that was fun. Scary, but fun. HAHA everyone was so surprised what a wagon can do, actually i'm pretty surprised myself too.

Though the its not all perfect, on the way back from genting the wagon made a 'SCCCHRRRRRCH' sound from the gearbox and a loud 'CLANK' as if something fell out from it. Sien. I really really hope that its just my lingkages that are giving the problem, not my gearbox fluid... though I should change it soon. I just read online redline oil is NOT recommended for NON-LSD Transmissions.

Habis. Thats exactly what mine is :(.

AND SPM OH MY LAWD ITS SO NEAR.

Of Carburettors & Roses

 Hey guys :). Gosh its been awhile, like really REALLY long since i've last blogged. Been putting this topic off for quite awhile now, i've FINALLY gotten my Weber carburettor for the wagon, and few more things too!

 Externally all i've did was remove the mudflaps, welded on a cannon muffler, gotten an AE92 replica hood scoop & a small fatlace sticker on the front right windscreen. Lugnuts too have been swapped to a shiny (more like faded now) hue of gold instead of the old rainbow ones. Fact, they dont last as a daily drive. This is the last time i'll ever recommend Bl*x lugnuts to anyone, ever. Thinking of changing them back to rainbow ones, or pure plain silver long ones. HOWEVER, the highlight of this post isnt the external...

I guess it would be this, the infamous Weber carburettor. The carburettor with a long lineage to Italian cars, is finally on my Japanese err, wagon. Heheh. Though I didnt get the 40 DCOE's that I wanted, I got a 40 DCNF & a mechanical distributor from a 130y. Why?

Pretty simple, I tell you now, you no worry :B. Kays err, first. My GA16DS's intake and exhaust ports are puny. They really could use porting & free-er flowing cams but I dont have those, the 40 DCNF is midly bigger than my OEM, however the 40 DCOE's would prolly have twice, or even thrice the flow of the DCNF. Why would I need the extra petrol without airflow? So yeah thats why I got the DCNF.

The Mechanical distributor doesnt have a revcut, unlike my original GA16DS has some sort of funny revcut at 7000rpm. Maknanya, I can rev my car freely until the pistons make 4 nice holes on the hood :D.
No worries though, its a lovely upgrade over the old OEM carb with the stupid electronic autochoke that ALWAYS had to malfunction.

Okay so differences. I've got more power. Much torquier from 2000rpm-4000rpm, I dont rev that much to gain speed now, I just short shift and ride the torque wave whoo! It also consumes LESS petrol. Yeah LESS petrol for MORE power. Amazing yes? The mechanical distributor I got also raises my revcut to 7000rpm + , but for now its not nessecary. Best of all? The sound of petrol being squirted into the carb. Pshhhhh. PSHHHH.

Though I cant leave the carburettor exposed, nobody wants leaves and so going in. I ordered a K&N filter from ZTH, Kang Yoon to be specific, I forgot his ZTH nickname. Pretty quick delivery time, I ordered it on monday got it on wednesday, installed it by thursday. Sadly after the filter its less responsive and much quieter :x.


Drawbacks? My car's clutch is slipping. Drove the car at 6000rpm on 3rd gear, you can see the revs climbing but my speed stays the same. Extractors are also too... small. Uncle Ramly says that I should get enlarged ones. PERSONALLY, I think they're not just small, they flow badly too. Did I ever mention my headers are mixed, top half from a B14, bottom half from a N16 and are pirated crap ones? Gonna have to save for a properly tuned one down the road and a new clutch too.


But, its funny even with all of these i'm still missing one girl who is very dear to me :|. I feel like all these car mods, yamcha, its like a waste of my time sometimes. Whats the fun in blowing money all for myself, smoking my life away? Not just by shisha, tire smoke, clutch smoke whatever HAHA. I rather care for people :(... Its funny though. I had this dream where I went to her house to give her roses, just because I could.

THEN I WOKE UP.

The only woman in my life I can actually give roses to now that deserves it would be my mum, for always being there to support me for 18 years. Whether i've argued, cursed, fought, whatever. She still loves me :(. 

Its funny how all the girls i've bothered chasing after never worked out. One wasnt intrested at all, but I was in denial after her. Why? She's pretty, I have the same intrests as her so I thought it would work, guess what? It didnt. She's still super pretty though :D. One I actually lost a friend going after her, and until now, I still dont know how much she liked me or whether it was just words. The fact where she speaks in like, almost riddles confuses me. Perhaps im just stupid & ignorant. IF she was clearer I think I would still like her, its too bad I can never decipher her intentions or words. The presents she gave me for my birthday & christmas are beautiful though. Very much beautiful like her, but thankfully those are easy to understand. Though, all I ever wanted from her was the clearnce for me to call her my girlfriend and for me to love her, didnt get that so yeh. I stopped chasing her. And last. That one girl that fits my criteria but just wants to be friends. Actually, COMING to think of it after summarizing everything, I SUCK AT READING GIRLS. Sien.


The girls i've chased are a complicated bunch, no? Whoever i've aimed for recently after my 'mellowing down' stage has failed, and right now my self esteem & confidence is Z-E-R-O. Im so lazy to look at girls, or even bothered to flirt because its a waste of time. Pfft. Is it really that hard to get a Godly, funny girl that loves me and is adventurous? :O I prolly can only choose 2-3 out of 4 on my criteria.


So this would be my update for now, i'm happy, but i'm also pretty emotionally dead. Why? I've got all the physical pleasures of life, not the emotional kind. Such a pity. If this goes on i'll prolly become as emotionless as a brick, can't even smile nowadays properly.

Slacking

Hi guys! Ahhhh yes its been awhile since i've blogged, been super busy nowadays... the car, my own social life, studying for trials which have been going on and stuff.

Just FYI i'm sick at the moment hence why im so free to blog. Still though, things havent changed much with me? Im still slacking. Table is still messy, the wagon still doesnt have a hole for the intake, still runs on the standard carb, still yet to be polished by me...

ANYWAYS. I've gotta go get the wagon's wipers fixed later, my genius of a friend managed to snap the brackets holding the linkage together, sucha hassle mmhm.

Oh and i'll be soon having a new addition to the garage! :D A 3-speed auto satria lulz. It would be my brother's daily, still I get to share it no? :B

Thats all for this post, i'll be doing another post shortly after this, ciao ;).

Just Wondering

Is there room for good guys left in this world?

Not Fun.

Its not fun...

1. Being barred for almost a week from driving.
2. Slacking.
3. Being always underestimated.
4. Wanting things I cant get.
5. Falling for girls who are either, taken, or that likes someone else.
6. Not finding a place where I belong.

Mmm there's so much on my mind I really really cant sleep. That 6 would be what I can think of at the moment... Its early friday morning and im looking forward for friday.

But im so. so. tired. I always wonder whether im going to ever find a purpose for myself, find money, find a girl who matches me, I wonder about a LOOOOOTTT of things. These things keep me from sleeping :/.

Lulz but I feel like im talking to myself now so i'll just end here. Nights peeps :].

HAI GAAAIS

Haha I couldnt resist putting that up, I swear im turning into a mini Aaron. Its now August, dear August. My dad's birthday is on the 8th and i've got no idea what to get...

I shall think about it.

ANYWAYS! Hey peeps :), i've been doing ntmuch lately. Slacking, to be specific. Got a new laptop, HP but I have like tooootaally no idea of the model cause its a hand-me-down from my dad ahaha. My dad tends to do that with his gadgets :B.

Followed dear HENRY to do his exhaust, hence the picture. Titanium tipped exhaust, looks great, goes great and its REALLY REALLY QUIET! (Bet you expected me to say loud DIDNTCHAAA? :p)

Mmm so yes, updates done for now, its 4.51 am and my mom is in Singapore. Lulz I should be sleeping but I cant :/... Mind's too busy thinking on unessecary stuff.

Making It Stick

Mmm sticky. Like uh... sticky stuff ahaha. For this post it's going to get real nerdy for me, i'm going to be talking about suspension & handling! I love handling, so i'll try to point out whatever I can to whoever is trying to make their car stick, turn and grip. Or just to look good, whatever. I'm on the fence :B.


Like my usual, we shall start with basics. Things you need to know about how to make your car handle are...

1. Springs.

2. Shock absorbers.

3. Anti-roll bars.

4. Tires.

5. Weight & Bracing.

Okay. Listed out, lets start explaining how it all works. ON a standard car, it has all of that, its just that they're usually designed to be soft and comfy, not much for handling. Now we'll go deeper into what each function does, pay attention yeh? ;)


1. Springs. This would be the easiest to explain, see-saws are a perfect example. If a spring is soft, a light person that sits on it would make it compress. A fat guy like me, would probably make it bottom out against the floor. Same thing goes with the car, AS a car turns, there is load of the whole car's weight on the opposite side of the turn, well guess what? Springs hold up weight of a see-saw, and do exactly the same for cars. Stiffer springs = Less roll, sorta.

However a spring in a car MUST be able to absorb bumps as well as counter rolling, having it harder than a turtle's shell wont help, it would be so stiff it just skips over bumps. Like literally. Cause it doesnt compress.

2. Shock absorbers: Like their name says, it absorbs shock. We'll use the see-saw again for an example. After it compresses, theres energy collected in the spring. The energy releases the spring, causing it to bouce up and down continously! Thats where the shock absorber ABSORBS that energy, stopping the movement. It controls wheel movement in comparision to weight.

The easiest way to actually make your car handle better IMO is this + anti-roll bars. Too stiff a shock also has the same effect as springs, it will be super harsh over bumps and cause the car to be very nervous in handling, kinda like a go-kart.

Too soft however, it has worse consequences.

Uhh imagine this. A see-saw. Yeah. It'll be bouncy if your shocks are too soft but your springs are hard? Proof? Google up lowering springs + standard shocks.

3. Anti-roll bars. This I think is one of the simplest parts of the suspension, it connects from the left suspension to the right.

It works the same way as a metal ruler does when you bend it, it bends to a certain point then stops. The thicker the metal is, the harder it is to bend = stiffer anti-roll bars = flatter more stable cornering without affecting the ride quality.

4.Tires. Its that black thing that hits the ground, the only thing that actually grips the road. Its one of the most important things so pay attention.


Tires have 3 things you should pay overall consideration to when modding your car, the thickness of its sidewall, width of its thread, and the overall size in inches".


Okay so first we'll start with the sidewall. The sidewall thickness should be considered when modding your car, what's the purpose of your car? The thinner the tire, the less sidewall flex it has, meaning lesser roll angle and tire-slip. Too thin however the car wont have any feedback to actually 'tell' you when its going to lose its grip.

Width of tread... well wider is always better, more surface area, more grip. Too wide though it'll cause frictional drag, slows your car down, decreases fuel economy. Mmmm not good.

And lastly would be the size of the wheels, I wont go deeply into weight, but common sense is not to add too big a wheel for your chassis. Just add 2" on top of your original wheel size, that should be tops if you want handling. Oh and dont forget while upsizing the wheels, downsize the thickness of the sidewall and add width to the tires.

Example: 175.70.13 upped twice would be 195.50.15

5. Weight & Bracing. This is last from this post, and its really really simple. Lighter = faster. Its faster but not as fun, you see there is a different between being outright light and balanced.

Lighthen your car by any means possible to get it faster, leave out the dual 12" subwoofers, do you really need that? Lighter seats, lighther wheels, however you wanna lighthen the car its up to you. Carbon panels? They help a lot, they sure look good too :).

Bracing. A car's chassis is designed like a shell made of metal, its supposed to be strong. HOWEVER, after 100,000km's I doubt its as strong as new, it probably has fatigue'd along the way, so thats where bracing comes in.

Bracing is literally, another metal brace that ties one part of the car to another. You can go to Ultra-Racing's website to see how it all works. Lastly would be foaming. Foaming works by injecting a polyurethane foam into the hollow points in the chassis, for ME personally, my parents did it for the whole car and the difference is night and day. The whole car feels super stable, no creaks from the chassis anymore.


Anyways i'm getting pretty tired typing, i'll prolly go into more detailed ones next time. Cheers :D!

Tri-Y Headers

It's been awhile since i've blogged about car-ish stuff, guess i've got the mood tonight lalala. Haha so tonight, were going to talk about 4-1 headers and TRI-Y headers.


Lets start with the basics eh? What are headers? Simple, they're just straight pieces of metal, galvanized steel, stainless steel, or rarely titanium. They evacuate gasses from the car's engine smoothly instead of the standard one which really doesnt do much for performance. Anyways I wont go into why the standard one doesnt do much for performance, lets just say everything standard is compromised from the factory.


So! Movin' on, my Nissan has had an exhaust change some time back, a few years now. 2 I think? Over that 2 years i've deleted 1 centre silencer out of 2, and changed my muffler to a quieter cannon, which is ironic, cause it silenced that missing silencer. LOOOL. Anyways, the most important upgrade was my 4-2-1 header.

THIS IS WHERE IT GETS SORTA NERDY Y'ALL.


As the name is, its the gas from 4 cylinders, going into 4 pipes, 2 pipes, and finally into 1. I got this because I THOUGHT I had no other choice, but I actually do. Which is a 4-1. To common understanding a 4-1 gives much more power at high revs. Anyways me being me all wanting to know more, I remembered american cars using a header called Tri-Y design so I stared googling it.

Mana tau, after 1 whole night of researching... Tri-Y is a fancier way of saying 4-2-1. Yes im sheeeriouz. Its 100% the same -.-".

Hmmph. At least all my effort wasnt wasted, did some reading HERE on hondatuning.com's page, where they had a dyno shootoff with a 4-2-1 header VS a 4-1 header. Read the link above for the results.

Anyways the Tri-Y header had MORE torque from a standing start untill 7200rpm, which then only after that the 4-1 started getting more power. My engine can only rev up 'till 7000rpm, max power coming in at 6000rpm, so you should know what style of header's im getting next. The only difference? Bigger diameter to flow more gas & its gonna be in stainless steel, happy meeee :).


But I dont have money ATM so not happy me. It costs RM600 for custom headers. PFFFFFTTTT IAN TTLY JEERRRR.

Still, to whoever is reading out there, if you've got a car that cant go more that 7000rpm, dont bother with the 4-1, its a waste of money :p. Get a 4-2-1. Thanks for reading this nerdy post!

Teehee

Its been 4 and a half years of high school, what have I achieved? Ntmuch to note of. I think im notorious with the teachers in DJ for sleeping, gained a title from my classmates as 'hibernating bear', I don't know what my rep is among the form 5's either (Read, 1994 peeps a.k.a technically my juniors).

Kinda feels weird that I had to make friends and a new social group again, and I actually LOST most of my 1993 year friends. Either that or I just grew up, and finally chose who I wanna hang with. Im actually quite surprised that... the 94' crowd can think better and rationalize better than my old 93' gang.

ANYWAYS. I'm getting so pressuuuuuured on what i'll be doing for a job. My dad kidded around and suggested I become a lorry driver cause I love to drive, but I cant be one because i'll prolly be a road bully. Tell you that was the most un-funniest thing i've heard in awhile. Burst into tears the moment I heard that. Im stupid enough to worry I might actually become like that *sighs*, but seriously I cant think of what im gonna possibly work as next time.


Too stubborn to work under people, I dont keep my mouth shut when somethings amiss. Or when my boss is being a hypocrite. Parents say im too vulgar, rude, sarcastic, to try sales. Am I really still that bad? :( I dont think im that rude among strangers, im certainly outspoken but seriousleh.


I'm just feeling so useless cause I dont seem to fit in to anywhere that I wanna belong to. The only thing i've been sucessfully doing this past few years is... you've guessed it. Cars. And specifically, I dont know what else besides criticize them, mod them, and poison people how to mod them. Hopefully i'll be able to do that someday as a living. Run a lifestyle store, full of fixies, BMX's, clothes and car parts. Hahahahaha but i'm only dreaming right?


SINCE I'M DREAMING LETS CONTINUE THE DREAM. Describe yer' dream Iannieee.



Okay. I want to be a pioneer in Malaysia to create Malaysia's first authentic 60's style cafe. Or drive-thru, takeout, diner, whats the right word for it I dont even know :O. Imagine. Retro neon lights. Plaid shirts. Sneakers. Music. Shiny new cars (We cant recreate 60's style american cars, so sorreh) lying in a bed of neon and uh... neon. Hot hamburgers. You and your friends/girl just chilling, laughing.


FUN RIGHT? Let's continue shall we :).

You get tired from waiting outside, its starting to smell of petrol due to my car being started (seriously it smells really bad) . You go into the store, lights greet you, neon. Turqouise, pink. The inviting black and white tiles shining from the light tempting you to enter and eat another fattening but oh-so-tasty burger. You walk in.

Now you've got the choice of sitting on a red barstool, or, a red high-back seat somewhere at the corner so you can be forever alone. You choose the seat instead of the stool. The slippery feel of red vinyl greets your body as you slide into the seat. You place your elbows on the polished metal table. There are menus waiting for you, and a silver napkin holder, or chrome. WHICHEVER IS MOAR RETRO.


So you pick up the menu and start looking around, unfortunately, my mind isnt that vivid or awesome to decide whats there in the menu, so you just choose a double cheeseburger and a choco shake mmkay? The waitress greets you, her name is... gahwhocares. Gahwhocares is wearing what you see in american movies, an apron and a whatever-diner-waitresses-wear. So she takes your order with a pencil and paper, then walks off to bring your food. While you wait for your food to come, music is played through speakers in the cafe while you eat, peacefull isnt it?




NOW. Imagine that a reality in Malaysia, with giant glass windows to see your car outside as you eat in peace. Lovely innit? Or waking up early on a Sunday morning to eat breakfast as the sun shines in your face.





GOSH I SO WANT THIS AS MY REALITY.




Oh and the cherry on top of it all, she would be mine, running the cafe with meeee :D. HAHA, awesome imagination I have noooo? :p

WOW.

I can actually remember when I put those stickers up in my car. It was like... billions of years ago. Just reminiscing haha, dont mind meh :).

So, I'm Back.

And the hols are over, hurr durrrrr. I cant belive 2 weeks went by that fast! Sabah, VBS, hanging out, it all ate my days away... and now its back to school with midterms results :B. What joy.


Sarcasm aside I enjoyed my hols, 'twas quite boring at first, but it got awesome towards the end. Man. I can't wait till SPM finishes, im officially free -___-.


So Sabah, I had seafood, which was EXPENSIVE. I'll never order lobster again D; , I drove an auto saga BLM the whole time there, with bald tires and a so-so standard audio system and only hitz.FM on. Yeah the rest were muhlay chanels, dont blame me ahaha.


I kinda miss the simplicity of living there already, the town is SO SMALL. The airport is literally, 10 minutes away with average driving and 6 min's with my sorta driving. Mount KKB (har-de-har-har 8D) is 2 hours drive, and the air there is sooooo cooling. Even the TOWN's air is cleaner than PJ.


Mmm but the vehicles there are like 50% 4WD's and 50% cars, really a lot of rare/old cars and 4WD's still running around too, whats Sabah, a timewarp? Awesome timewarp though :))). Sadly I didnt manage to go to the beach, the weather was rainy-painy so I kinda just went around shopping + eating LAWL.


Oh I got awesome ray-bans. HEEHEEHEE. 1 point up for coolness for myself, and its original too. I'm so proud of my aviators, now I can look like a pilot or... my dad :p. Gold rimmed with green lens, what.a.classic. Now i've gotta get red wayfarers to complete my collection :].




So besides SABAH, VBS happened too.




Hmm 2 full days with kids, what fuuuun. I was grumpy the first day but i'm glad how things turned out. I'm so glad that Decky & Aly were there, Aly being unofficial and joining cuz I asked her to HAHAHA. I wish I could permanantely hire both of them to be photographers for VBS. My pics really really sucked, no joke. Moderate lighting + kids running around + lack of a proper flash = tons of blur pics.


Due to that, next on my wishlist would be a flash. I gotta talk to Decky & Aly on this :O.


ANYWAYS. The trip to the science center with the kids were fun :p. Some kid said I have different girlfriends every year at the VBS. My my, i'm a player and somebody noticed? How kiut :'). Ahaha but he's 11, what does he know? They're my churchmates who I grew up with, not candidates.


The kids were scared by the scary/retarded dinosaurs, fascinated by the sciency (?) stuff, and uhm, hyper. REALLY HYPER. HAHAHAHA too bad for all of you who weren't photographers ;p. That includes Aly, who forgot to bring her camera. Oh Decky forgot his flash too.


Ah and i've gotten back to reality, exam results were... realistic? Bottom of the class, no surprise there heh. Time to start studying if not im gonna drown before SPM :(. Downloaded NFS world to play with Aaron, Isaac and Cal, HUGE HUGE dissapointment. Paying with real money to lower the car? Im a student kay, no muhnee.


Listening to geek in the pink now by Mraz, time passes by fast. I just realised how OLD this song is... and how old i'm getting lulz. I'd better start planning what I wanna do with my life, I cant stay 17 forever :(.

Its Simple.

Dont like my blog? Dont read it, dont like what I say, dont read it!

Yes i'm aiming this at whoever, my parents, relatives, friends. I made this so I can talk to myself, dont like it? DONT READ IT.

SURPRISE SURPRISE!

Guess who sms'd me? NO NOT HER. She never does. It's been someone I have not been in contact from since last year, since Cal broke up with her. Yuppp. Cal's ex.

Lawl due to privacy issues I won't mention her name, but I think whoever knows me & Cal knows her. Indirectly. HEHHH. Anyways 30 second recap! She deleted all of us from her life after the breakup, even after all I did for her, so since then lets just say I never had much motive talking to her.a

So surprise surprise. She's worshiping(phing?) for VBS this weekend and oh-boyeee. Im the photographer for the event, akwarrrrd. This evening was supposed to be the practice session for them so of COURSE the situation was akwarder than a teacher-student danceoff.

But to cut the story short, after everything when I got home I got a text from her, saying how she's sorry and stuff for ignoring me, or mmm isolating herself. Okay, sincerely after reading that I feel like an ass lah. It's kinda unfair how i've been effing nasty to her cause of her deleting me from her life, it made me HORRIBLE just as well. As Christians were supposed to love one another, and here I am hating someone I used to be so close to.

I think I should try to make her happy again and not be an ass, at least shes humble enough to say sorry haha :D.

Speaking of happy hmm. I still wonder on how I can affect someones relationship... it's odd lah Cal's ex used to have a tiny crush on me while they were dating haha. HARHARRRR. I FEEL 'TARDED AGAIN.
It's not faaaairrrrrr lah, why when im nice to people I dont intend to get they get attracted, but it doesnt work vice versa? If im gonna have to be nice to someone who has liked me before i'll have to be more cautious this time around *sighs*. I just wanna make her happy again so she can move on, holding stuff in is not gooood. Its a no-no D; . I think it affects us all physically as well as emotionally, #justsayin y'know?

Well i'll always try to make anyone happy, its the least I could do. I don't wanna try to get anyone for now lah, i've run out of reasons to chase that fantasy of mineee. I wish I could get someone to cheer ME up, come to realise I haven't been genuinely happy since forever.

Hence the flatlining status in whatsapp. I could say that describes how I feel now, I cant feel anything. Sadness, happiness, hope, nothing. I just feel.dead. Whatever I love to do, or whoever, I cant get. Drums I cant have a drumset, car I cant go crazy with it, girl... hmm. I'm not gonna force her, if shes happy with another guy im happy, well somewhat, but you get where im going.

I never really got what I need at all. I've gotten things i've wanted, but not needed.

SOOOOOO. Surprise surprise, it's life, I guess i'll have to earn what I want someday. Thank GOD I don't have to earn my salvation through good deeds, the only thing in life that I want I get.

Its Not Fair...

How you can keep me wrapped around your little finger, by doing absolutely nothing. Mmhm.

I don't blame you though, whats there to blame? :B Anyways guhhhh i've got so much to do to my car + studies.


Lets list out whats lacking on my car:

• Carbs. I need more power, my car is effing slow. 'Nuff said.
• Anti-Roll bars. I just love to corner hard, you jelly?
• Louder & smoother exhaust. Mine now's just... farty and pretty quiet. I'd like more noise :|.
• Bucket seat: For cornering hard! Of course :).
• Le' license plate: Mine's being held on by zipties cause it broke off -_-".

I think thats all for now, i'd be pretty happy to get all of the above soon haha :D. 

So What's Next?

Its the first of June and uhm... im at Calvin's house bumming overnight. I think I ate too much, had 1 can of shandy too much and im tired.

I've always wonder'd how if life was like glee? They can have fun & romance in the most inappropriate moments, i'm jelly (read: jealous). I think im jealous of a lot of things oddly. Richer people, funnier people, awesome-er people, and the list goes on and on.

Mmm i've been wondering also what kinda girls fit with whoooo. Likeeee among the people I hang with, so far OFFICIALLY Cal is my only bud who's taken. His girl is well, pretty much like him. Easy going, photogenic, nice, relaxed, open-minded and not quick to judge. She reminds me so much of Cal sometimes ahaha.

So here's what im thinking. If she reflects his personality, how would my girlfriend be wei? Or Chung's, Daniel's (Loh), or even JX?


HAHAHA mine would have to be sarcastic, have reserved humor and easy going. I think nowadays im not as funny as I used to be :o. I think I WANNA TAKE UP PSYCHOLOGY after SPM :D.

God...

... you know what? I think it would be awesome if you answered this last request with a no, I can finally be at peace.

Me Being Me!

How do you change something that defines you?


This post is kinda link'd up from the post below, I got a smack of reality in my face just now on my cursing. I used to curse like in EVERY sentence and thing I typed. Its been many many moons now that i've actually stopped that but it still lingers.

The cursing lingers when:



• Im mad.
• Im crazy happy.
• Im panicking, nervous, not thinking straight.
• Combination of above. LUL.

So uhm uhhh. Odd lah. I blew up online yesterday, and yeaaaah *rolls eyes* guess who saw it? The whole world. Yay meeee. Hilang muka again. I miss those days where I could just be rude to the whole world and make them laugh.

Its a process of growing up though. Thinking about it right, i'm so full of hidden flaws only to be revealed when im angry, i'm amazed I still have friends. And I really lost my touch in making people LAUGH for no reason at all.

Or maybe its cause I hang with stupid people most of the time. Only my church friends and close friends get my jokes, we all joke teh same HAHA. Anyways...


... as a summary, I love being me. If im not accepted for my flaws, and am going to be discriminated by a CERTAIN group of people I dont wanna belong there, ever. Im tired, off to bed, g'night :).

Hit Counter

It has been jumping, from 399 to 4-- plus now even though I havent updated it. Either its mindfuck orrr MAGIC IS HAPPENING. HO SHIT NIGGUH.


One bad thing about having a public blog, I cant monitor who the hell acceses it HAHA. Oh well. Hey there anonymous followers! :D Hope you all LOOOOOVE the posts I have not been putting up. Anyways! It's time for an update on how I am, holidays have officially started. The first night of the hols and my my. I think it was ruined from somewhere after recess.

Lets just say I heard things I dont wanna hear, now i'm thinking of things I dont wanna think. So now on the first night my mind is... blank. Neh i'm joking, ees full of fuck.


*Spoiler warning, its an emo/complaining post so if you no likey emo you can just skip this mmkay?*

Okay. Hmm. I feel awful lah. On the 2nd day of the hols I ended up arguing with one of my closer friends over me jumping to conclusions again. I'm not going into detail, but i'll just give some advice. Dont talk about anything you dont want people to hear, and dont have those 'late night juicy convos' when you're half awake, seriously. I think I blew up at my friend was because one, I had the lack of sleep, and two I was pumped on adrenaline.

Drift competition, no surprise right?

Mmm so without going into much detail, I just snapped on the spot and panicked, and WOW. I re-read the convo, my language is like a rainbow put into words. *sighs* Anyways after a long sleep, thinking, and from both my friends points of view its really my fault bottomline.

So im just going to wrap it up.

Declan Tan, i'm sorry again. I thank God I have friends like you, who stick with me no matter how horrible I am, how flawed under the surface I am. Only real friends do that,and yes its something im gonna regret. Whats been said cannot be unsaid.

Oddly right, after the fight when I hit the bed that night I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that I had a sms from uh... her saying she just wanted to talk. When I woke up I just had that feeling like, it's never going to become a reality, you know the feeling where you just wanna cry and go back to your dream because its just so perfect?

But oh well. Life is lifeeeee. Shes the first girl I think in a LONG time i've actually had problems getting to even just, talk to.


And that actually brings up another problem come to think of it, assuming.



The whole squabble started because I ASSUMED. I always assume things. Declan says girls are straightforward, but I think quite the contrary, if they were straightforward my 2 ex's would have been easy to go after, the'd probably tell me on the spot "Oh Ian, you're so awesome, I like youuu :)" and tada were a couple. But girls are girls, pampering and understanding is needed right? :(((

IF i'm wrong about this I think I should just stop going after girls and learn physcology first, re-learn everything i've learned through the years. Oh and the best part is, things that have been unsaid cannot be taken back. So adding additional info... if you never meant to tell me but keep it a secret and it came out haha. Habis. More assuming.

So until now which is... May the 30th? I'm still assuming, guessing, hoping (or am I just in denial?). I FEEL RETARDED LAAAAAH. For the first time I can't understand or figure someone out even by talking to that person, and asking for advice is just confusing more.

IT's all over the place! Seriously. Some say, why waste your time? Lotsa fish in the world Ian ;). Some say, you like/love her, just keep trying you'll get her someday. Some say i'm just being stupid cause im chasing wind. Gah.

So that kinda explains my... lack of. uhm. desicions. YESH. And the fact I haven't put any effort into being really intresting would be one reason why I dont wanna stop just yet. People that never try, never get anything more than normal. I've been nice, I think i've always been. But yeah intresting, I have nooooo idea what intrests her :|.

However if they fail they'll fail harder. For me i've got nothing to lose, just her. Which is... everything. I sound so lovesick, waka-waka.

AND Since its not a secret anymore, I gotta admit I love all the stuff she loves. Beaches, cooking, music, chilling, emoji (but it crashed my phone, not putting it back in, so thereeeee), long talks OTP & stuff. Disney movies, I think we have even the same sense of humor!

BUT I could be wrong again, y'know assuming and stuff? Mmhm. And working on a one-way relationship = fail. I think i'll just go pray and talk to God s'more. God never fails to give me an answer, but sometimes his answers are confusing as hell. And some of it well, its granted really late.

Like how I prayed on and off to get to talk to her, whatsapp's a start. HAHAHA. So yeah I guess i've got a lot to thank God for. I dont intend to list down all here cause its just. so. much. Even MY INFLATABLE POOL IS AWESOME WHOOOOO. 5 guys in a pool with drinks + music + sunny weather = Fawesome. Seeeriously.


So yeah I think i'll just post this up for now. Life sure is confusing innit? I hope the rest of the hols goes smoothly, I cant keep drama like this up for long.

Oh Schnaps.

I DIDNT KNOW MY BLOG HAD SO MANY uh, followers. Lulz.

Anyways uh hmm its a Sunday afternoon, i'm going off to Sepang and yeah. It should be fun :). Urr. I think I wanna hamburger for lunch yeahh.

Imjustbeingrandomsorrykthxbai.

Priorities

Damn cute right? HAHA.


So today i'll be blogging about priorities, was just thinking about it today while studying. We've got money, girls, parents, our car (for me at least HEHEHE), God, studies, socializing and the list goes on. And like any teen I think im having problems dividing it all.


SO FAR, if our lives would be on a scale, i'd be tipping way over into the socializing side, plus my car and friends. Im not very intrested in money,or studies, God and girls would be somewhere in the middle, unbiased and still very naive in thinking.


I've yet to balance everything out, I think starting with studies would be great! :D Unlike God, studies can dissapear from my life, God is always here thankfully. God being like a supernatural parent, i'd say watches over me night & day no matter what stupid things I do.

Anyways just a short post, i've gotta sleep studies tomorrow with Aaron! Its nice to see him studying once in awhile :') *sighs* were all growing up now arent we? 

Uh?

Okay!



Now since thats over with how about an update on yourself Ian? Sure.


I'm liking someone for almost a year plus, not good, not good at all. Well its 50/50 lah in my case :(. Im not going to say specifically who, but I think the whole school knows LOL. Okay so where do I start?

Its kinda innocent on how I started liking her. I added her knowing shes my churcmates cuzzie. I never bothered to go check on her profile etc. etc. So okay, I bought her up as a topic with my churchmate, then only I found out she was in the same school as her. I was like WHAAAAAT? No way. I've never seen her before :O...


So okay fine, shes in our school. Cool. I asked my classmate who she was, he pointed her out during recess last year I think? First thing that came to my mind was WAO. Tall, pretty :D. But I still wasnt intrested.


I think I got intrested when I asked my classmate how's she like? See right, about my classmate, he talks like nobodies buisness. He could probably sell a living person a coffin just in case, and they'd want to buy it. Turns out the girl I like according to him is, uhh... in his words Holy, very nice lah, and polite. She loves to bake and uhm nice lah.

SO. Okay how many pretty girls do you know that have the qualities i've said? Oh and even better yet, my classmate just had to mention she talks a WEEEEEE bit like me, sucha onz? Really? :').

I never talked to her face to face in school cause 1, nervous. Ironically I can chat up a lot of girls just like that, but why not her? Haha simpleeee. Try lar talking rubbish to a girl, which is one and only. If she was like every other shallow girl I couldnt care less, but I dont wanna lose her :(.

SO OKAY. MUSHY MUSHY stuff aside, I tweeted her once in awhile. Uh then there was one day, Daniel the subaru owner came to pick me up in his YELLOW BUGGY. In front of school. Hell's yeah ;D! She walked pass but I never said hi.


Came back from school, I got a tweet from her saying something like uhm, too good to say hi or someeeething like that.

Heehee.Least to say, I was pretty happy that day, anyways. Going after her is sorta hell for me :(. She hates texting, I like texting. I dont know if shes on MSN often, and talking to her face to face is uh, rare. Shes usually with her friends and so am I.






OH I FORGOT TO MENTION, she knows I like her. Yippee .__."




Anyway's I thank God I met her lah nonetheless. She's kinda an influence for the better for me, i've been trying to make the best of my day, work out more, study, etc. etc. Idontknowhy seriously, but she just motivates me. To the readers that are reading, does your better half motivate you? (IF you have that better half in the first place ;p)

*sighs* Am I weird? :( I hope not. 'Nyways, yeah for 2011, thats my major update. I've got to TRY to talk to her, cant hide all my life.

Its FUN having an emotional rollercoaster now & then. Buhbye (:

About A Year Later...

Thanks to not remembering how to upload pics, I did everything in reverse. Uhm... so I guess that means i'll blog everything in reverse kay? FAST FORWAAAARD to the year 2011 where this is the first LONG blog post i've done. Its the end of April 2011, midterms are in a week, and here I am talking about cars. SO me right? ;D 'Nyways y'all we shall talk about my friends car.

If you didnt know, its a Version 1 Subaru Impreza, yes, Ver.1 the start of it all. I took some pics quite awhile back after he got a new intake.

See :D! Sexyness yes? A red K&N filter that really sucks (Geddit geddit?) . Mmm done by speedworks, I think if I never met dear Dan I would have never gotten much intrest in Subies. Nowadays I pay attention less to Evo's, which isnt good. I used to ADORE them :O.

The filter was installed by Speedworks with a K&N adapter which you cant see in the pics here, but anyways i'll be popping over to their shop sooner or later, I need to redo my headers on the nissan. Im sure I can squeeze that little bit more of power out of it :D.

*I love their attention to detail, the rubberized sticker goes well with the STi badging no? :)*

Ah then we've got MY wagon <3. One year later im running on coilovers (No pics, sorry) and a different muffler. Oh and I got golden lugnuts also :D!
I took these pictures after waxing the car, pretty shiny huh? I'm glad to say the car handles REALLY well for a wagon, it could do better though. Im still looking for STIFFER REAR SPRINGS. Its like 'effing unicorn modification parts, seriously. Virtually non-existant anymore cause my car is as old as the Bible but not as popular D: , doubt its lifesaving either NYAHA.
Big muffler for a big car! I'm so beng (; , at least my car is quiet.

Ah then we've got the wheels, WHOEVER actually has been following my blog would be wondering "HEY, he was running black wheels right?". You'd be right, these are Calvin's wheels, I swapped them while painting his brakes :D.

Work Meister S1's, and they're ORI as they come. Ballin' beetches, dont hate. Out of love I waxed them for him HAHA.

Needless to say thats enough about my car, it hasn't got any engine upgrades since last year. So its still as slow as ever :). Thats it for now, i'll do another post uhm... tomorrow. Stay tuned! Its juicy.

WAO

I never knew you could blog from an iPad, now I do :). Greetings from my dads iPad haha! :D

One Day

One day i'll bring this blog back to its glory days, I will. I miss blogging but i've been so busy/lazy I havent been updating :|...

My room is now turquoise & grey, I think i'll put pics up soon haha :). AND uhm, I let my piercings grow over. I dont look good with them kthxbai, thats all. NIGHTS!

FINALLY.

Its been YEARS since i've blogged, not literally of course. Ah so where do I start :')...


Hmm. Okay hurr durr. I think this year so far has been... kinda half assed. Why? I've started 10 million things but not finished them.

Without going into much detail, that includes my car, friends, and even the girl I like. All left hanging.

WHY? Well of course, its because of meeeee. I always do things half-assed such as updating my blog like so. Im doing this cause im too free at the moment nyahaha.

Anyways! We'll just keep this as a word update, without any pics for now.

CNY: Spent it in Singaporeeee, made my cousins dulan at me cause I mixed-up my grandmothers condo number and in result, they got lost. Lulz. My grandmothers house is pretty awesome, apartment and such. HOWEVER, the lobby is effing confusing. Hence why my cousins got lost HAHA.

My Car: Still shiny, white. Slow. Humm... am supposed to get lugnuts + the weber soon.

Me: I've gotten *drumroll* 2 piercings. 1 left, 1 right. Why? Will update the next time around :D!

Friends: Humm. I notice I tend to start fights among all my friends, but solely because I always 'get' to their sensitive side. SO does that mean im an asshole for being insensitive or they just dont like me pointing out their flaws? Whatever it is imma be quiet for the time being. Fed up of being so nice, leading, giving opinions and what sort.

Studies: Pretty much failing at the moment, took up math tuition again, and ironically IM LIKING IT :O! Really. Hope my grades get better...

AH so thats my shuuuper shawt update on 2011 so far. Quite malas to do a full blown update cause my dad took my camera's memory card and emptied it. somewhere. in. my. comp.

Now i've gotta go look for it.

So uh...

Kthanksbai? :D Ciaooo.