SURPRISE SURPRISE!

Guess who sms'd me? NO NOT HER. She never does. It's been someone I have not been in contact from since last year, since Cal broke up with her. Yuppp. Cal's ex.

Lawl due to privacy issues I won't mention her name, but I think whoever knows me & Cal knows her. Indirectly. HEHHH. Anyways 30 second recap! She deleted all of us from her life after the breakup, even after all I did for her, so since then lets just say I never had much motive talking to her.a

So surprise surprise. She's worshiping(phing?) for VBS this weekend and oh-boyeee. Im the photographer for the event, akwarrrrd. This evening was supposed to be the practice session for them so of COURSE the situation was akwarder than a teacher-student danceoff.

But to cut the story short, after everything when I got home I got a text from her, saying how she's sorry and stuff for ignoring me, or mmm isolating herself. Okay, sincerely after reading that I feel like an ass lah. It's kinda unfair how i've been effing nasty to her cause of her deleting me from her life, it made me HORRIBLE just as well. As Christians were supposed to love one another, and here I am hating someone I used to be so close to.

I think I should try to make her happy again and not be an ass, at least shes humble enough to say sorry haha :D.

Speaking of happy hmm. I still wonder on how I can affect someones relationship... it's odd lah Cal's ex used to have a tiny crush on me while they were dating haha. HARHARRRR. I FEEL 'TARDED AGAIN.
It's not faaaairrrrrr lah, why when im nice to people I dont intend to get they get attracted, but it doesnt work vice versa? If im gonna have to be nice to someone who has liked me before i'll have to be more cautious this time around *sighs*. I just wanna make her happy again so she can move on, holding stuff in is not gooood. Its a no-no D; . I think it affects us all physically as well as emotionally, #justsayin y'know?

Well i'll always try to make anyone happy, its the least I could do. I don't wanna try to get anyone for now lah, i've run out of reasons to chase that fantasy of mineee. I wish I could get someone to cheer ME up, come to realise I haven't been genuinely happy since forever.

Hence the flatlining status in whatsapp. I could say that describes how I feel now, I cant feel anything. Sadness, happiness, hope, nothing. I just feel.dead. Whatever I love to do, or whoever, I cant get. Drums I cant have a drumset, car I cant go crazy with it, girl... hmm. I'm not gonna force her, if shes happy with another guy im happy, well somewhat, but you get where im going.

I never really got what I need at all. I've gotten things i've wanted, but not needed.

SOOOOOO. Surprise surprise, it's life, I guess i'll have to earn what I want someday. Thank GOD I don't have to earn my salvation through good deeds, the only thing in life that I want I get.