Out Of My Comfort Zone.

As the post says above I... finally have the courage (motivation?) to try and get out entirely of my comfort zone to fend for myself. It's a new year and a new semester in college, the 3rd to be specific. First day of class was quite draggy so to speak, but also at the same time, its refreshing considering that i'll be learning how to photosop pictures properly!

I'm blogging this out because really i've ran out of people to chat with that can actually hold a conversation with me. Truthfully exiting my comfort zone is extremely mentally exhausting, as much as I wish that it would become simpler as time passes I still haven't settled down with the thought that i'm now attempting to be a bookworm, i've stopped smoking and attempting to use a computer other than Tumblr & to read Speedhunter articles endlessly.

To make matters more complicated this weekend i'm taking one of the biggest leaps of faith ever for myself. I'm heading to a place where I have quite a reputation, and i'm planning on settling down there haha. It's almost suicide to think of it from a mental perspective, but what do I have to lose? I should be saying to myself "O ye of little faith", a constant reminder to put my fears and worries into God's hands instead of me trying to attempt extinguish situations that are too big for me. I just have to give up all my fears to God and walk through the straight and narrow.

Funny though as much as I can utter these through my own mouth with no hesitations, mentally I still worry day to day. I'm fully aware that my reputation is far from spotless, likewise to those who don't know me very well I assume they see me as a kid too spoiled to work to get things from my parents. Likewise I always worry that I could be using my time better to 'gain experience' somewhere better. Financially or even a skill, it's still something isn't it?

But assurance has always been nearby me thankfully, especially from my family. My parents know my personality in and out, through and through how tunnel minded I can be at times, never backing down or lowering my standards to the morals & standards that are accepted by society thes days. It really is like a double-edged sword because as much as a perfectionist I think I am in doing things, I have to adapt to the surroundings i'm in. I'm in 'boleh land' where generally, we do not have any standards anymore. But on the other hand the perfectionist in me can also be used to inspire people similar minded to attempt at changing the country.

It's painful though to constantly wonder about the future daily. The last time I had this convo with my mom she said that due to my characther generally I won't have a lot of friends. To make matters worse she said i'm going to have a lot of hurt in myself as I grow up as well. Really it's been a very long time since i've broken down, but I cried a whole lot. Like niagara falls a lot. Why can't I ever be like a normal kid who drives a normal car with a basic shallow perspective of the world and who does average things? Thankfully though my mum was quick to assure me that generally leaders have the same charactheristics as my personality. Anyways the whole concept of hierachy also shows how lonely it is at the top if you were to look at it from a 3D point of view like a Pyramid. A lot of people don't make it to the top.

So after that incident i'm uh... here venting haha. Hey readers! Whoever still reads. I think stepping out of my comfort zone is one of those things in life where it prepares you to do things that you don't like, but may have to do it out of necessity.

These days most of the teenagers have cushy lifes if I were to really nitpick. Our parents are the ones who work hard to pay off our education, they also buy us gadgets, clothes, vehicles, food, and various assets to a hobby, but i'm referring to the life i'm familiar with. Not to those who have to earn a living to buy their own car. I'm sorry but I just was never brought up there, and everyday I do feel guilty for having these luxuries, but at the same time I can wholeheartedly say that every millimetre of my life is blessed. I've never had to make a noise louder than a squeak to my parents if I need help and they're more than willing to buy material items for me to be a socially accepted and contributing person. Yet it is ironic because most of the people I know, myself included partially, don't maintain what were given. Do you know how to iron your clothes & fold them? Do you know how to clean a car, polish it and wax it? Do you know how to hold a converstaion properlly without constantly glancng at your phone like a prick? A lot of people can't do these things.

This blog is really becoming a rant blog HAHA. But until I find some other place to blurt all these out i'll have to resort to a blog. Tumblr is ironically, too open as much as its more of a picture blog. I constantly rant about these minute things because I find that people these days just cannot get out of their comfort zones. Me myself included. It's like this generation of media has such a huge stronghold over the way we think, act, behave until the point we can't think for ourselves anymore. I won't go into detail because I too fall into this category of lazy people not changing things. I do want to change things, but there's that age-old excuse of 'i've got no time'. But these days it's not really much of an excuse anymore if you prioritize education and getting really great scores. To make matters worse if you're active in college too with all their clubs, societies & gatherings it doesn't help. I'm in the minority where my evenings are actually pretty free, i'm hoping to find a place where I belong where I can put myself to use. Or maybe I can just get a puppy and use my time to devote myself to it bringing it up IDK haha.

I think i've ranted long enough for this post. I'm not too sure what i've accomplished in this post but to any youths out there who read this, if you SINCERELY want a change in life GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE and learn something new. Sometimes the things you need are bitter in life for a short while but sweeten up at the end.

Of Psalms & Proverbs

I need to be up by 6.30am and its 4.55am, not one of the wisest times to blog but ha! I just have to. Idk why I felt like reading my bible at 3-ish in the AM. Not a usual routine of mine but meh, here are some verses that I just can't keep internally. Find it so relevant to what I feel.


Psalm 6 basically. Verses 2, 4, and 8-10.


Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord heal me, for my bones are in agony,

Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love,

Away from me, all you who do evil, for the Lord has head my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer. All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed; they will turn back in sudden disgrace.


It's so interesting to pick up a book that was written ages ago where David wrote these Psalms to God, feeling so free to express himself. If only we ourselves freely express ourselves to God. I know I haven't been doing that but picking up the bible to read really helps.

After finishing Proverbs i'm finally starting with Psalms! Ashamed that this bible has been with me since 2005 and it's still so unweathered. That and I should have picked this up when I had more time, my holidays are ending and I have a paper to resit :(. MEH.

To all those reading this, go read a bible whenever. Wisdom, knowledge and the true living God are pretty good things to keep in life, especially in times of trouble.

Saga Seeds.

Since i've got nothing better to do i've decided to make a post to the humble Proton Saga! A brief history of this, it was Malaysia's first ever national car. What proton decided to do to name it is to give the public a contest to come up with a quirky name for their ancient brand spanking new car! So cutting the story short the name saga somehow was chosen, and the production of the saga went on from the day Jesus Christ walked the earth until 2007 if i'm not wrong.

You guys I hope will find more credible sources to read the history of this national car, because truthfully I'm too lazy to reference everything accurately. I love the Proton Saga though. Why? Well rewinding the clock to when my dad was much younger and I was still in a single digit state of age, my dad owned a 1985 metallic maroon Mitsubishi Cordia. Basically it is a coupe version of this proton, much lower, wider, 2 doors and well... FWD. It wasn't a performance car at all but it sure looked like one. Long nose, short tail, deep maroon paint, when you're young you can't tell the difference between a performance car and a slow but stylish one.

Now that i'm 19+ and have done my fair share of reading and driving, I have taken liking for this last generation saga. This was proton's final attempt at 'modernizing' the original saga. Think about that. refreshing a 20+ year old car. I think it was one of the last few cars in Malaysia that could be bought with a carburettor still. ANYWAYS ironically that is exactly WHY I love the car so much! You see as finicky & picky as I am, I like simple things. I just like simple things done right.

So for starters this car is a very simple car. The only added weight on these things are probably the power steering units... if you ordered them. They have no ABS, EBD, AYC, SC, or any other sort of safety device and acronyms besides seatbelts. But the good thing about these cars are that the interior was somewhat updated! You get a fancy dashboard that looks pretty similiar to the first generation lotus elise. Nothing surprisng there considering proton owns lotus. I just like the simpleness of the interior.

Driving the saga with your eyes shut would make you feel like you're driving in the past. The saga is really one of THE most comfortable cars i've ever sat in my life. Don't forget i've driven a rolls-royce before and tons of luxury cars. The Saga's suspension is so soft it just absorbs majority of bumps it encounters. It feels sloppy to drive just like an old car should, but perhaps thats the charm of it that I love.

See I love simple things, taking them and then modifying them to be better. My dream would be to acquire one of these last-gen Sagas and build it up to the quality of Hondas overseas. The full works, interior, suspension, engine work, and do it with that certain quality that 99.99% of Malaysians can never pull off.

The engine is another thing I have this love hate relationship with. I love the fact that the 4G13/5 engines are so simple to work on. There are tons of mechanics who can fix it, spare parts are aplenty and likewise too aftermarket mods. Basic stuff from air filters all the way to stroker kits. What I do not like about it ironically is its... age. Being a 20+ year old engine in design isn't the best recipe to squeeze out power unless it has VTEC or Cosworth somewhere written in it. So what i've always dreamed of doing with this 4G1 series engine is to... well... squeeze as much power as I can out of it! And what more a better platform than the aged saga. You have an aged body & engine but both have been modded with the highest end parts, brimming with technolgy. That is my ulitmate goal besides building the wagon. Anyways this is also the closest I can get to a cordia. Majority of them out there are all rolling shitboxes anyways. 

My love for these old engines started due to a certain someone inviting me to join their group for a race. Specifically, Zeno inviting me to join the 4G1Series guys. Thanks to them my family now has a little satria 3-speed auto which I love so dearly. I enjoy squeezing as much efficiency as I can from that ancient engine. As ancient as it is proton has tried to update it to modern standards. The last few models were dubbed as 'VDO or SVDO' engines due to their Siemens VDO ecu. Pretty smart ECU too. It has both closed & open loop functions for the AFR, basically meaning it is a self correcting ecu at certain conditions. This has caused a LOT of frustration to stupider people wanting to modify and 'tune' the VDO. They call it rubbish because it overwrites the open loop tuning when in closed loop. The only piggybacks that can control it are Works Engineering EMS & Unichip for all I know. Anyways i've always wondered how it would be like transplanting in a 4G15 VDO into the aging saga and then mod it from there onwards. As much as I love carburetted cars I hate the fact that twin-carb cars and airconditioning aren't a great combo. That and lopey camshaft idling doesn't help either.

Handling the saga needs a lot of work to be done to the chassis to make it handle well. Autofoam, ALL the Ultra Racing chassis bars would be a start. All except the ARBs. I find those too small a diameter. Then there would be... HWL with their coilovers. The only thing I want from them would be the rear springs though. The dampers and all I think there are always better ones out there. The saga's weak chassis needs all the stiffening it can get.

To those who are looking for a cheap starter race car, by all means get one of these if your intention is just to have fun. To be competitive and win, go with a newer platform with better geometry. I just did this post out of fun to let my thoughts out of my head, hope you enjoyed reading it eitherways!

Screamer.

My holidays are almost up. Hmm. As much as I would love to add a lively tone to this update I don't have any sort of idea to, so bear with me okay?

I'm still very moody. Perhaps those events of 2012 are going to leave a much bigger mark on me than I can even imagine. Of recent i've gone back to my old addictions, tumblr-ing! Funny thing is though i've stopped smoking. Even the addiction + craving is gone, as soon as I started it again i've stopped. About 3 weeks ago I gave my pack away because I knew I could stop, and indeed I have. I feel good about that, enough to pat my own back :). But anyways thats not tha main issue that i'm making a new post.

The main reason is err... finally about my car haha. HUEHUEHUE new engine soon. That and I think i'm turning into an introvert. Hoho the noisy Ian is now quieter. I'm really worried about this because thinking back over the past few years I recall that the majority of my 'extrovertness' was due to my 'confidence' in doing right. That and nicotine sticks. Ciggs really do get you into the 'cool crowd' exactly how the media portrays them as. You'd probably be thinking just because Ian is staying home 99% of the time now, how does that make him an introvert? Well, the credibility of this is questionable but i'll just put this down.


Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.