145th Post.

I think this post is going to be more emotional hum-drum, if you're not intrested in how i'm feeling nowadays you can gladly stop reading here :).

Anyways moving on, i've reached a point in life where I cant figure myself out. The people I used to hang out with are gone, even if I magically become best buddies with them it doesnt really point direction in my life like it used to! Say when I was 14-15, I was experimenting on clothes, cycling, working out, dreaming for my car to be finished, waiting for my drivers license, wondering how post-SPM life feels like and really enjoying myself in the process.

Now its 4 years after 15, im 19 this year. I'm not exactly a kid anymore, only having a year more 'till being a proper adult so the worries of responsibilities have been bugging me, and I cant shake the worry. These days if you just use my iPhone and scroll through my twitter you're bound to find something like ' I dont give a fuck la just chill ' or ' Fuck you you think you very cool meh? ' , idk if its just me or what but I find cursing a major turnoff? Especially girls nowadays jeez, whatsup with your mouths, so scary la to think that future mothers are going to be scolding the kids with 4 letter words and having a IDGAF attitude in the family.

Unlike our parents, they work hard, they dont have 'SWAG' like us, i'm really worried that someday the whole world is gonna screw itself up because of this current generation. If you were to survey around nowadays whether anyone thinks of marriage, you'll get a lot of yes's but preparing yourself for it? Not much. Nobody cares to care for one another also, its not common hearing some weird kid being left out or picked on in school because he's socially awkward. I mean okay la if he's irritating I get you, but why not try to fix them? If all fails then abandon ship la, at least you TRIED.

I mean hey they're 18, smokings cool, pool is cool, driving flashy cars is cool, having SWAG is cool, cursing your mother is cool, seriously doesnt anyone get tired of this? Or is it just me? Party this party that dont give a damn about this dont give a damn about that.

Generally im concerned on how the world is ever going to function since we have this attitude nowadays, the young generation just doesnt care at all about fixing or improving ANYTHING except on how cool they are. Ask them whether they know how to fix a doorknob, a car, or cook fried rice majority wont. Ask them whats the best place to shisha, mod a car, or club they'll never stop talking.

If really Malaysia is going to screw itself up over time sorry to say Malaysia, I love you so much but if the people in it are going to ruin you im leaving for a better country that has more patriotism and cares more about upbringing of the society rather than here. I dont want my kids to be clueless idiots just demanding for more material wealth and swag instead of doing something usefull.

Doesnt anybody out there ever want a clean image and to be full of knowledge, or is that just me? :( Changing a countries mentality wont be easy thats for sure heh. I'm surrounded by majority of people that just dont care, but thankfully by the grace of God I still have those few people that keep these few qualities and are actually bothered about how they live. IF I ever lose those friends you can pretty much expect me to dissapear just as well, I dont enjoy living with people who are AWESOME at not caring about anything but themselves and how to enjoy everything.

I've also given up trying to correct other people that dont wanna be corrected, y'know its ironic I got scolded for having an anger problem when the person that lectured me had the same thing, not exactly practicing what you preach but were human. So... thats not for me to answer to, let God work the knots out of them.


MY MY i'm making myself depressed, maybe I should stop now.